By BOSEDE OLUSOLA-OBASA
Permit me to begin my letter with a hearty congratulations to the Super Falcons, the 10-times WAFCON Champions. Thank you for showing the world how the wonder gender does it. Today, let’s talk about inclusion. Dear wonder gender, this letter stems from the truth of how already included you are in the scheme of things. Wherever there’s diversity, there’s a call for inclusivity. Look closely, you are already counted in, so may I admonish you to keep making it count positively with every chance you get! I would love you to see diversity not just as a buzzword, but as a synonym for variety, uniqueness, difference with dignity and ultimately, value. What better time than now to amplify some truths that can make you as unstoppable as the Super Falcons. Let me help you see the women’s world through my eyes, in a way that you can become all you ever wanted and add to the world all your heart considers important:
- No space or sphere in the world is complete with men only or women only.
No gender single-handedly completes the world. There is truly no “men-only” or “women-only” completion model. There can only be meaningful conversations around what share of influence each gender wields at successive times in history. The world’s stage is large enough for both genders to show up fully, with grace, competence, and relevance.
- Every inspiring inclusion is first within, then without.
Dear woman, inclusion begins with you. Never count yourself out of the impact game, instead, hone your skills. You are a vital contributor, own it! Grow! Thrive! Bloom! Inspire change!
- Inspiring inclusion is in the interests of all.
The world is never complete without you, so be inspired. The beauty of inclusion is that it brings all genders to the table, not to compete, but to complete. And, your version or approach to making an impact is unique to your makeup, it can’t be easily replicated by the other gender. Therefore, stop downplaying your portion or niche. Your type of impact can’t be mass-produced. Know this, inclusion begins with understanding your uniqueness (diversity, variety) in terms of completing the world and deploying your value assertively but purposefully; then you won’t have to ‘compete’, an extra day.
This is why I firmly say:
I do not see a competition with the other gender! I only see a world that lacks completion without including my gender variety of impacts. My diversity inspires my inclusion!
May I close this by asking you to quit affirming some counterproductive female gender myths, biases, stereotypes. It’s one thing to demand for more inclusion, and another thing to detach from the beliefs that quietly exclude us. From my days as a little girl, until half-a-century of my blessed life, I have deliberately protected my privileged gender, not just in words, but in how I refuse to affirm the plethora of female gender-related stereotypes.
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Let’s face it: many of these stereotypes are not just spoken by men—they’re reinforced by us, the very women who want to be seen, heard, and valued. So today, I call on my girlfriends, ladies, mums, women, females to stop strengthening what you’re supposed to be shattering.
Let’s stop affirming things like:
*Wherever two or more females are, there’s gossiping!
*You can’t count on a lady to be emotionally stable for long.
*Women are a confused lot. They do not know what they truly want.
*A rich woman/lady can never be submissive to a husband.
* Women are selfishly dependent.
*They are emotional blackmailers.
*Women don’t support other women’s trends.
*Female bosses are wicked, difficult and terrible to work with.
*Female drivers are mean and stingy with the right of way.
*Women drivers are not smart drivers.
*Couples experience more ‘wicked’ mothers-in-laws than fathers-in-laws.
*When a lady says ‘NO’ when toasted by a guy, she actually means ‘YES’.
*A girl child’s education ends in the kitchen or bedroom.
*Women are weaker than men, even in terms of competence.
*Never trust a woman with your life or tell her everything.
*Nearly all wives (women) nag.
*Whenever there’s a rape case, the women must have seduced the man through provocative dressing or looks. She must provide evidence to be heard.
*If two men start as jolly friends, they would lose the friendship once women come into their equation.
*It’s not a woman’s world, so she must work twice as hard for what the man gets faster.
*A woman must compromise herself to get results or be elevated.
*A family of all-girl children has no future successor.
*Women are meant to be seen, not heard.
*A female president is a far-fetched dream in Nigeria
*There are more widows than widowers because most wives make life difficult for their husbands, so they die earlier.
*Women are gullible when in love.
*You can get/buy over any girl once the price is right.
*Pregnant women and nursing mothers are ‘short one’ in workplaces (unreliable).
*Women give the most excuses to stay away from work.
*A woman can’t have everything. If she’s successful in her career, she won’t be in family life, and the list goes on.
These are not truths, they’re tools—tools used to make women second-guessed, undervalued, and in many cases, excluded. But here’s the catch: when you say them casually or even jokingly, you’re validating them. So, what should we do? You must intentionally grow beyond the box. Flip the script. Stop shrinking to fit what you were born to stretch. Show up! Stand up! And Stay up, unapologetically! Yes! We Can! Yes, We Must!
I am Bosede Olusola-Obasa and I remain committed to adding value to you. If you loved what you read, let me know; also feel free to share it with another value-loving person or platform like you. You should likewise reach out if you would love to book a corporate training session on teamwork attitude optimization, leadership sustainability, corporate culture creation, exceptional customer service, or personal character development coaching. I will be glad to help you or your team grow.
Enjoy the rest of your week!
