By BAMIDELE JOHNSON
Pardon the wonky title and just read on. Eat the rice and leave the stones, as we say to the pathologically fastidious. So, early this morning, I was chatting with a friend who’s into catering among other things.
She sent me a message to apologise for not answering the phone when I called yesterday, explaining that she had some big-scale job she was almost late in completing. She then gave an astounding piece of info.
The butcher she hired to “assassinate” the cow named his price, to which she agreed, before giving one more term and condition that was the deal breaker. The butcher said he was entitled to the cow’s neck and head because it was a tradition.
Demanding isi cow, as of right, is similarly illogical.
Having agreed to pay what he charged, my friend couldn’t understand the insistence on cow head. Long story short, he walked off in a huff and my friend found another, who isn’t into head harvesting. I wouldn’t have understood the former butcher’s insistence and I would have detonated immediately the demand was made. I would have been incoherent, because of anger, in my effort to fob off the silly demand, which is underpinned by an epic sense of entitlement.
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I probably would have asked something really silly like “should surgeons demand an organ if they operated on a patient?” This, of course, is no clean shot, but I’d care very little about logic. Demanding isi cow, as of right, is similarly illogical.
I had a similar experience a few years ago when I had dogs. I took my female boerbel to mate at a breeder’s place. He charged a certain amount and on the day I went to bring the dog back home, the breeder gave me a form to sign. What stood out was the clause that when the puppies were delivered, he was entitled to one and would choose first. My eyes narrowed into the slimmest slits when he said he’d choose first.
I refused to sign and told him that I must take my dog. He said that was the practice. I asked him to tell him how it made sense that I paid him, brought food for my dog which wouldn’t eat what those in his kennel ate and he would be entitled to one as well as choose first. I asked if his right to choose first was because he was the one who copulated with the dog.
He kept waffling. I lost patience, of which I have not much by nature, and I started barking at him. Even the German shepherds, which bark a lot, knew a real barker was around. He got tired. I think he had never faced resistance before. I put my dog in the car. I contacted another person, who would take care of the dog till delivery.
I asked if his right to choose first was because he was the one who copulated with the dog.
This type of referenced, I think, gave rise to the infamous Omo Onile caste. Their fathers sold land and were paid a long time ago, but they will come demanding a percentage of future sale by owners who had paid their fathers. I don’t know if the ceding of cow head is a national thing or limited to Yorubaland. I suspect the latter.
We are capable of genuine air headedness. For example, hospital staff extort fathers of new babies by demanding Chivita and stuff like that under the guise of “mo nba yin yo”(I’m rejoicing with you). The demand is made with a face like granite. You also find a similar thing in marriage registries. Can’t we be normal?
