By BOSEDE OLUSOLA-OBASA
It’s Children’s Day, 2025, and I wish all the children of the world a hearty Happy Children’s Day celebration! This week, I chose to dedicate my piece to commemorating the day. Please pardon me, I’m about to shake some tables, but I come in peace! Trust me, it’s for the general good; both now and for posterity. It’s unfortunate how a lack of self-awareness in many adults keeps them from answering certain life questions before life forces them to. The topic of my piece today is designed as a bait, to lead you into reflecting on other important questions you may have never considered, but which could shape or haunt your tomorrow. If you’ve found yourself paying attention to this article, then I celebrate you for being an intentional person.
My intention here is to lead you to ask and answer some heart-probing questions that can make a significant difference in the way you see, interpret, live, and respond to life. This is a personal character development exercise I developed about 10 years ago for what I call ‘Better-Me Living’.
Here is a caveat! To make the most of this exercise, one that will leave your family an invaluable legacy, you must be very sincere at every stage. That is the core rule. Please take this test seriously, as it would help you truly assess the quality of experience you have created in your relationships, especially with your children, and give you a chance to become better. No matter your age, now is the best time to do this. Jim Henson noted that “The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. They do not remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.”
When you are done taking the exercise, whether you were readily able to face the questions and their feedback or not; do not fail to follow up. Know this: it is important to intentionally make things right with the people you share your life with, especially your children. Many parents may be living in deception of what their children truly think of them. That is why it is important to have these ‘difficult’ conversations on an age-appropriate basis. I’ve categorised the questions to address both father and mother aspects of relationships with children. Now, let’s explore it!
QUESTIONS:
Would You Sincerely Ask These Questions And Embrace Honest Feedback Without Feeling Victimised?
- HUSBAND:
Dare to ask your wife if she would sincerely wish that her (your) daughter marries a man like you when she’s old enough.
- WIFE:
Dare to ask your husband if he would sincerely wish that his (your) son marries a woman like you when he is old enough.
- FATHER:
Dare to ask your daughter if she would sincerely love to have a husband like you – her father.
- MOTHER:
Dare to ask your son if he would sincerely love to have a wife like you – his mother.
- PARENTS:
Dare to ask your child what he or she sincerely doesn’t like about your parenting style either as a mother or father.
- PARENTS:
Dare to ask your children if they would love to become your version of a parent to their own children when they grow up.
- PERSONAL:
If you were a member of the opposite sex and had to choose a spouse, sincerely, would you marry you?
- HUSBAND:
Would you dare to ask your wife for a sincere assessment of how you are faring as her husband, what she doesn’t like about it and what she would desire to see changed?
- WIFE:
Would you sincerely ask your husband for a truthful assessment of how you are faring as his wife, what he doesn’t like and what he would desire to see changed?
- PERSONAL:
How would you want to be remembered by your children?
These are some self-actualisation questions, for which you should dare to get feedback from your nuclear family, especially your children. Doing so can create a whole new connection with them because it makes you appear vulnerable and more relatable. Some questions here were focused on you as spouses because the strongest way to preach a healthy relationship to your children is by how you practice it as parents. Remember that in personal character development (assessments and evaluation), feedback mechanisms are essential. It’s a fact that parents are truly the greatest role models of mental and emotional wellness for their children, and even if they cannot tell you what they truly feel about your lives, it doesn’t cancel the fact that they have clear assessments and memories of you. I therefore encourage you to keep this piece very close to your heart and work on it as it could mean a world of difference!
Here’s what to do with the feedback from this exercise: think deeply about it, take detailed notes on action points, and act gradually but sincerely on the areas requiring change to get the best results. Be intentional about what narratives you are writing in your child’s mind.
I remain committed to adding value to you, which is why I believe a children’s day celebration like this should serve as a strong reminder that you are being closely watched and decisions are being made on your account. Remember, it’s never too late to become better!
If you loved what you read, let me know. Also, feel free to reach out if you would like to book a corporate training session on: Teamwork Attitude Optimisation, Leadership Sustainability, Corporate Culture Creation, Exceptional Customer Service, or Personal Character Development Coaching. Enjoy the rest of your week!
