By ALEX OGUNDADEGBE
In his 1999 best seller The 48 laws of Power, acclaimed author Robert Greene warns in Law number one that we should not outdo our master if we wish to prosper under his supervision. The notion of ensuring that we please our superiors at all times brings us straight to the challenge of being instrumental in transforming an organization, project or company when we know how. Obviously the best approach is to start by seeking the approval of the boss. Let us be rational in our analysis and admit that it is not everytime the man or woman at the helm has a superior strategy or understands the situation at hand. That is why they seek counsel. But we must understand that every leader has an ego. That ego makes him want to be the centre of attraction in his circle of influence. So in case you find yourself in such a situation where you have a brilliant idea or ideas and you want to sell it to your principle, you must tread carefully.
First of all, sell your plan to him privately and use the collective pronouns “we” be careful not to use “I” and “me” which may offend him and give a notion that you are lording it over him. Secondly, let him take credit for the scheme and never go behind him to tell people that “it is my idea!”
First of all, sell your plan to him privately and use the collective pronouns “we” be careful not to use “I” and “me” which may offend him and give a notion that you are lording it over him.
Whenever we want to engender major change in an organization, company or country the best approach is to start from the top. Take your ideas to the very top of the country. Companies often decide to change the attitude, culture and disposition of the workforce but this cannot be possible unless the leaders buy in to the plan. In order to get organizations more focused on customers its been credible advice that the leaders become more customer centric by issuing instructions, examining modifications and determining service orientation all from the perspective of the customer. It is not enough to be at the head of a company enjoy benefits. The total welfare of employees and the progress of the organization ought to be a major concern of its leaders.
Beyond getting the leadership involved in transforming the organization, we also must ensure that the rank and file of the workforce are also highly committed. Commitment can only be measured by the amount of time we spend on a project, process or procedure. We refer to the actual time spent without distractions. New orientation must be ingrained in the DNA of the organization such that when people acting in the contrary way, they can caution themselves and get back on track.
This means communication about the new means of operation must be deliberate and continuous. So that it gets frozen into the procedures of people and becomes a habit. Once it is habit, those who work by it become instinctive in their activity.
Beyond selling ideas to the leadership, making sure everyone is committed and communicating continuously, there is the need also, for us to begin to think rationally, devoid of emotions that can drown our reasoning and logical analysis. In our decision making, the organization ought to be placed first. On many occasions, the personal tastes and moods of people in authority have been taken in stride to the detriment of the whole organization. History is replete with Chief Executive Officers who have lived a lavish life style, dipping their fingers into the finances of the organization without caring how their spending sprees affect the fortune of the company.
The perks of top management should not be to the detriment of progress of the organization. Even though we try to retain our best hands by ensuring their benefits are attractive, that does not mean we should sink the ship just to make the important hands in the organization happy.
But let us not be naive and think that if we get the approval of the boss and are able to carry this rest of the organization along that everything will work out just fine. That is far from the truth. One aspect of organizational culture that has been overlooked immensely is the non-verbal communication that prevails. People do not always do what they say and say what they do. There is a massive lack of congruence between what people say and do in many environments, such that if we take words alone for granted we often may be deceived and disappointed.
Milton Erickson is a world renown psychologist who suffered polio in early life that made him paralyzed totally. His dangerous state of health gave him the rare opportunity of studying the non-verbal communication of different kinds of people around him. Having seven sisters and a brother he was able to know when they were pretending to be strong and stable while attending to him and his mother who had to put on a brave face each time she was in the room with him was a major subject of his study of human nature.
Through will power and concentrating his mind on moving the different parts of his body, Erickson whom doctors had predicted would die within days was able to gradually recover till he was walking again. Knowing what he had learnt about human nature he decided to launch himself into studying psychology and psychiatry. He became one the world’s renowned doctors in his field. In order to excel in communications we must begin to concentrate in non-verbal cues as well as verbal. Studies in non-verbal communication can be conducted casually off book using people in our environment as our specimens for study. Two studies conducted separately by two well known authors help us understand how important it is to understand non-verbal cues in whatever preoccupation we find ourselves. As long as we work with people, we have to understand how to communicate with them. Malcom Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers and Robert Greene’s The Laws of Human Nature.
Greene talks about “taking off the mask” in his book, stating that we all wear masks and hardly ever communicate our real feelings. He warns that the person who can master expressions of others and understand their moods will have a better understanding of human nature.
There are massive take aways from a proper study of human nature via nonverbal cues. We must understand that we have a continual desire to communicate accurately our feelings to people around us even when there is an urgent need to conceal such feelings. There is normally a conflict inside of us that makes us lose control so even when we feel like hiding how we feel, if we are not very good at mastering our feelings, they can be seen on our face. The famous quote from Shakespeare’s Macbeth comes to mind here. Lady Macbeth reads the face of her highly emotional husband and says: “Your face My Thane is like a book where men may read strange matters!”
Body language is a major contribution to communication, only if we have time to notice and interpret it. Dislike and hostility shows clearly in body language. The debate over whether Donald Trump is a racist reached massive proportions after he completed his term in office. But as for Melanie, his wife, doubts were subdued the ways she acted when she found out that she was to use the same bedroom and dresser that former First Lady Michelle Obama had left behind; it came as no surprise later when she asked that the toilets be removed.
To master body language and facial expressions here are some things we can do in our personal relationships that will help us interpret how people around us feel:
Children are the greatest observers of body language, actions and gesticulations. Children who grew up in environments where hostility replaced love and abuse was the in thing were able to sense when such feelings were permeating the environment in which they lived. Such youngsters become highly sensitive to negative emotions and are very careful to respond when they sense a change of mood.
To master body language and facial expressions here are some things we can do in our personal relationships that will help us interpret how people around us feel: In conversation with people around us we can give ourselves the goal of observing one or two facial expressions. We can try to relate facial expressions to emotions and moods. We must learn to distinguish between a fake and genuine smile. Smiles do not indicate amusement alone, they can be a cue for showing superiority of thought in people around us. They can also be used to express encouragement and empathy. In our study of others we must not forget to analyze ourselves. Greek mythology describes emotions and thoughts in a parable of the horse and the rider. Emotion is the horse, thinking is the rider. If we are able to subject our emotions to the right thinking then the horse will not run wild. Right thinking will keep our character in check.
*Ogundadegbe is a renowned management consultant. He trains managers and executives in the arts of Customer Service, Human Resources Management and Management strategy ([email protected]).
