By BOSEDE OLUSOLA-OBASA
Of all the preparations people consider needed for doing well all through life, seldom is the ‘Strength of Character’ counted as crucial part; only to arrive on life’s stages and try to rush back to pick it up! It doesn’t work that way!
Strength of character is best built or developed from cradle and sustained all life long, it cannot be switched on or off. If you let it slide, it might let you have a free fall at your most auspicious. Heard of heads of states, who later headed to prisons, or crack professionals, who got cracked down and made to face penalties, the list is endless. According to Haven, CT, March 7, 1860. – Abraham Lincoln, once summitted that: “Character is like a tree, and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” This column is going to be dedicated to providing you the needed support to sustain the results of your sweat in adulthood, even if you had a poor start in your childhood. To make the most of this column, read and practice. Welcome aboard!
In today’s article, I present you some ‘life skills’ essential for successfully navigating your life, career, business, and relationships. You should know that people are core capital for anything you want to build or grow in life; therefore, mastering people management is one of the benefits you get from building strong and positive character. And, the earlier you start the character development journey, the fewer of the chances you have with people you meet would be missed or messed up. Maintaining the following mindsets in life and relationships with people across the board will help you master yourself, master people, and master situations, unscratched. Happy reading:
- In any relationship, expect that people could go wrong and build coping (response) mechanisms in advance to avoid being hit to the rock bottom if they disappoint you. This would often save you from suddenly acting ‘out of character’, ‘losing yourself’, or saying, ‘I didn’t know what came over me’. This is how to take responsibility for your sanity! This depicts the character qualities called Alertness and Personal Responsibility.
- Choose respect and courtesy out of a better understanding, not because people will always deserve it. In life, a lot of people won’t deserve your respect because of the way they live life, but choose to be consistent as a person who generally respects people as humans. This has a greater benefit for your personal character than for them. This depicts the character qualities called Respect and Courtesy.
- Never expect too much or demand too much from people. This will save you from living perpetually in a fool’s paradise or building castles in the air. Work to lead a decent life and be grateful if anyone decides to be magnanimous or good to you. If they do not choose to be, this positive mindset will prevent you from growing envious, bitter, manipulative or feeling entitled. Remember you need all the positive energies to arrive at your best days. This depicts the character qualities called Contentment, Responsibility and Self Respect.
- Define every relationship as soon as you can. Don’t allow ambiguities that may land you in confusion, error or trouble. People who are going great places take the responsibility of regularly auditing people in their spaces or circles. People who allow relationships they can’t account for in their lives may become guilty of things they cannot defend. State things clearly, learn to say the hard goodbyes when they can still save your reputation. Be fair to people but firm with them! Create boundaries and also respect people’s spaces. This depicts the character qualities called Clarity, Transparency, Firmness and Respect.
- Be great at what you do. Go beyond the minimum benchmarks especially if you find yourself in a situation where your success may be attributed to favouritism; you must display a measurable level of commitment and dedication. This would require you to keep focus on your goals, avoid distractions or frivolities. It matters to your eventual ‘life book’ what narratives you have unwittingly permitted or supported in its chapters. Understand that you are building your personal brand, so consolidate it. This indicates the character qualities called: Commitment, Excellence, Diligence, Hard work and Responsibility.
- Learn to listen actively to feedback from well-meaning people. Realise that you have a blind side, so carefully consider other people’s views and never overestimate yourself. How you respond to constructive criticisms is the true test of your pride or humility level. A feedback could be your life saver on some day. So, be temperate, detailed, learn to look at all the sides of a matter before taking a stand or drawing conclusions. This depicts the character qualities called: Humility, Teachability, Attentiveness.
- Choose to be graceful with words, make this your personal identity. No, this doesn’t always come easy, especially when you are provoked. However, one antidote against provocative people is to seldom personalise issues with them, that way you don’t lose your sanity to theirs. Responding to someone’s taunting and ‘losing it’, doesn’t show you are smart. It is their words that people tell who’s foolish or wise. In a world of revolving opportunities, you must bridle your tongue, because the stakes are truly high. This is about doing well in life, so choose to use words graciously rather than rashly. It is a choice! But, if you sometimes goof, it is character to be prompt with apologies.
- Understand that you are also not perfect, therefore, learn to move on easily. This speaks to moments when you feel disappointed by people from whom you never expected such. Remember that I already asked you to prepare your mind that people may slip, humans aren’t infallible! So, if and when it does happen that people fall below your expectations, you have to prepare your mind to move on quickly for your own healthy and sanity. Learn the life lessons the situation has to offer you as your gain from the pain but prevent yourself from being hurt again in the same way.
I will complete this topic in my next article. If you love what you read, let me know. Also reach out if you would love to book a corporate training session on team work attitude optimisation, leadership sustainability or exceptional customer service. Enjoy the rest of your week!
*Olusola-Obasa is a Social Capital Developer. She is the CEO of 1st Royal Character & Values Limited, Lagos. She is the Lead Facilitator at Royal Character Academy, the flagship brand of RCV. She can be reached via WhatsApp – 08170579767
