Sociologists recognise the family as a microcosm of the larger society or nation. Therefore, the family is the building block of the nation. Invariably, a look at a society depicts the makeup of the families within it. David Cameron, a former British Prime Minister of United Kingdom, while reacting to the rising crime in UK said that we have a broken nation because so many British homes are broken. Is this comment not relevant to the Nigerian society as well? What is a broken society? Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English defines a broken society as a society which has many social and financial problems. Is this not what the Nigerian society is today?
The rise in crimes and moral decadence in general is at its peak – Corruption at different levels of government and private organisations, kidnapping for ransom and ritual killings, armed robbery and pick-pocketing, cultism, use of hard drugs, prostitution, tribal hatred, religious war, abortion, divorce, rape, poverty, internet fraud… the list is inexhaustible.
Nigeria was ranked 146 amongst 180 countries on the 2019 corruption perception index (CPI). Delia Ferreira Rubio, Chair, Transparency International said, “Governments must urgently address the corrupting role of big money in political party financing and the undue influence it exerts on our political systems.”
The annual incident of abortion in 2017 was an average of 41.1 per 1,000 women aged 15 – 49 years. Invariably, 1.8 to 2.7 million abortions occur annually in Nigeria. (PMA2020 Abortion Survey Results: Nigeria). Incidents of rape and child abuse have increased over the years with 2020 recording some uncommon situations that led to physical and social media protests.
We need to understand that until the family is restored the society cannot be restored.
Divorce, which used to be a taboo, is now a free and easy option out of a marriage that appear not to be working. An Abuja-based lawyer declared on her twitter page in less than 51 days into 2020, that 4000 divorce applications had been filed in Abuja in the year and most of them were marriages within one year old. These added to other such cases from other cities would make it alarming. Tolerance is no more a virtue amongst married people; everyone wants to be in charge. Where children are involved, they are left devastated which makes them resort to the use of drugs, premature sex and crime. In some cases suicide and other negative behaviours fill the void.
Cultism has taken a new trend with the menace spreading from the tertiary institutions to Secondary, Primary and even the streets. Cult members that hitherto hide to perpetrate their dastardly acts in our own days, now flaunt their membership with arrogance and utmost disregard for law-abiding citizens and even law enforcement agencies.
The most baffling is the story making rounds at a time that cult members wear religious toga and cunningly lure unsuspecting youths and children into their fold, confirming the words of the Holy Book that we should beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. With cultism came the uncontrollable use of hard drug. About 14.3 million, which is 15% of adults, abuse drugs in Nigeria, whereas the global average is 5.6%. The highest level of drug use is among people aged 25 to 39 years. (QuartzAfrica).
Prostitution is another menace that has broken our society. Joint United Nations Programs on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) estimated that there are 103,506 prostitutes in Nigeria with 63% confirming that they started prostitution before the age of 19. Even the young ladies in higher institutions have turned to prostitutes in order to live “sophisticated” lives while young men have also turned to “jigolo”, a word used for men that sleep with older women to get money. Kidnapping for rituals was the situation some years back but recent years have witnessed high level kidnapping for ransom. We hear gruesome stories of grandchildren arranging for kidnapping of their grandfathers to extort money from family members. There are stories of those who even arranged the kidnapping of themselves! All of these happen because of greed and self-centeredness. It is no longer safe to leave children in the care of house helps for fear of kidnapping and selling off the children into modern slavery or rituals.
Unemployment rate is estimated at 27.1% in Q2 2020 while underemployment rate is 28.6%, which means the total number of Nigerians who are unemployed or underemployed as at 2020 Q2 is 55.7%. Nigeria’s unemployment rate was 23.1% in Q3 2018 confirming it increased by 4% points between then and the second quarter of 2020(National Bureau of Statistics). In all of these, tribal and religious hatred have gone to the peak.
Some years back, people of different religions used to cohabit without any problems but today people are killed for professing their beliefs. Tribal and religious superiority have become a major issue of National concern, yet the politicians are profiting from the polarisation.
Today, many children take counsel from ungodly people and fall into many depravities because their parents are not available.
The sophistication with which armed robbers operate and the increase in internet fraud leave much to be desired. Innocent exchange of phone numbers and account numbers have made many become victims of internet fraud while armed robbers go to the extent of using dynamite to break into banks and other well-secured institutions to perpetrate their dastardly acts.
Terrorism in the North is almost becoming a way of life, yet, we all go about our daily business as if all is well.
Despite the increase in the menace in our society, there seems to be no solution in sight. Many of us are quick to blame our governments for the broken society. While I agree that uncontrolled corruption in the country and the use of hoodlums and money by some politicians to perpetrate devious acts pre, during and post elections are major factors responsible for the current situation of our society, I would put my focus on the family unit which has a strong and close influence on individual member of the society.
In my opinion, a godly family is the major antidote to our broken society. A godly family is one that has its foundation in God that starts with a godly marriage. At the helm of affairs is a godly father directing the activities of the home supported by a godly mother that cares for the whole family. Such a family will breed godly children that honour their parents and respect other people. One major issue with our society today is lack of respect for others.
In such a family, the parents are the role models with the father providing for his household through legitimate means, loving the wife unconditionally and bringing up the children in the way of God. The mother should also play her help mate role in humility and act as a teacher, counsellor, care giver and go-to person for the whole family especially the children. Today, many children take counsel from ungodly people and fall into many depravities because their parents are not available. Parents should have listening ears and maintain open communication with their children. They should be the first confidant of their children. They must not be critical or engage in comparison of their children as each child is unique in his own way.
While government has a lot of work to do by providing employment for the citizen thereby reducing the poverty level in our society, the key duty of reforming our society lies with the family. We need to understand that until the family is restored the society cannot be restored. Broken families make up broken societies while healthy families make up a healthy society and invariably a healthy nation. We all have a role to play in getting our society back to sanity.
*Seyi John-Okoh writes from Lagos ([email protected])
