By BOSEDE OLUSOLA-OBASA
There are critics everywhere these days. Unfortunately, many of them aren’t interested in being constructive critics. You probably know one critic, or you may be one yourself.
If you choose criticism as a pastime, you better learn when and how to apply the controls, otherwise should be ready to face the consequences.
Criticism is not supposed to be an entirely bad role to play. It’s the same way that opposition parties are useful in a political process. When done rightly, criticism can be a powerful tool for personal and institutional growth and development. But like every choice that one has to make, choosing to be a critic is either a weak or strong quality, depending on the maturity of the person behind it.
When driven by good intentions and delivered constructively, criticism can be corrective and restorative. But when it fails the test of good intentions, right manner of presentation and timing, it easily becomes toxic, doing more harm than good.
So, if you find yourself being increasingly critical of just about everything and anyone, especially if your tone of communication tears others down, rather than build them up it may be time for you to have a sincere ‘heart-check’.
Swallow this humble pie. Before you criticise anything, realise that sometimes you may not be seeing the full picture.
As such moments, you should shouldn’t rule out the possibility that you may be dealing with something more personal or internal than the external issue or person that you are criticising. And that probably explains why you try “using a sledge hammer to kill an ant”.
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The message here is that criticism, like a seed, multiplies. The more you sow it, the more it grows – sometimes it gets back at you.
The following are controls you should take note of to be a more constructive and developmental critic:
- Test your motive.
Begin by being clear on why you are criticising a thing or person. What outcome are you hoping to achieve – build or burn? Be honest with yourself.
- Choose your manner of approach wisely.
How you communicate matters, whether verbal or written. Harsh or unrefined words can turn your credible message into a noise and shut the ears of those you meant to reach.
- Keep a clear head before you criticise.
Don’t do it by being judgmental, sentimental, emotional, bias or angry. Aim to build, not destroy. Remember, most people naturally resist criticism.
- Focus on the issue, not people.
It’s painful to watch how recklessly even the most unexpected people can sometimes be when airing their convictions or personal biases, disregarding how their words affect others. Be different. Speak with grace.
- Realise you may have a blind side to the issue.
Swallow this humble pie. Before you criticise anything, realise that sometimes you may not be seeing the full picture. So leave room to hear other people’s perspectives; and allow the superior perspective win.
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Enjoy the rest of your week!
Wishing you a wise and gracious week ahead.
