When we were young our parents, mostly, were really concerned about the kind of people we made friends with. They felt strongly that if we fall into the wrong association of people, it will influence our character, our activities and our overall mind set. They were right. But do you know that what we grew to understand as peer pressure is still relevant to us as adults? Your association will affect your routine and your habits. There is great value in associating with the right people.
One theorists said you are as gifted and as rich as the five people who are closest to you. If that is true, then won’t it be great if you could associate with some people who will inspire you towards a successful life? Think about this: when we were young some of us loved to play with magnets, those metal objects that attracted other metal. In early science classes we were taught that if we put a piece of metal on a magnet long enough it will begin to absorb the properties of that magnet. What started out as ordinary metal will now attract other metal objects to itself via a transfer of properties. Human beings are the same. So, if you want to get better at what you do, who you are and how you see things, associate with the right people!
One theorists said you are as gifted and as rich as the five people who are closest to you. If that is true, then won’t it be great if you could associate with some people who will inspire you towards a successful life?
You need to urgently do an audit of the people you spend time with. What do they talk about? What do they read? Where do they go? What do they wear? Who are their heroes? What is important to them? These are a whole lot of questions. Let’s put some of them into perspective. If you hang around people who spend their whole talking time complaining about the government, the weather, the traffic, the cost of living and prices of food and clothing, the tendency is you will become and incredible grouch, complaining consistently about the same things yourself! Perhaps you need to be a little adventurous and find out what other people in different circles are focusing on.
Have you ever found yourself in a circle of people whose discussions are a bit different from what you are used to? Perhaps they are discussing business opportunities, how to make money from a certain concept. Perhaps they are discussing strategy about how to pursue a new contract or how to get a person of influence to agree to their business terms. Mark my words, if you make an effort to appear in some other circles that are slightly different from your own, you would be amazed at the focus and level of discussion that is going on around you.
Now, do not get me wrong. I do not say when things are not working well we should not discuss them and proffer possible solutions, but should our focus really be on complaining about what is not working around us? If you spend too much time complaining, the possibility is you will remain just where you are without making much progress. Solutions come from people who seek them and if you can’t change something, why not change yourself?
Seek to build or enter a Circle of Influence that would aid you in fulfilling your goals and objectives. I would like to assume that no matter how bad things are around you, there is something or there are some things you want to achieve within a specified period of time. If whatever you are planning is significant, you need help to achieve it.
Sometimes you cannot rely on the help of people you have around you all the time such as friends, spouses or regular associates. In order to do the extraordinary, you need to seek extra help that is out of the ordinary. So find new associates who can help you achieve your dream. Did you know that every successful person is willing to share tips and guidelines with people who are willing to listen? The secret is in the approach. Some of them will be willing to go a step further and link you up to people, resources and even circles of other people who can help you move up. You have to be willing to seek access.
There are three kinds of people who should be in your life: Influential people, these are people who can knock on doors for you and make things happen. Gifted people, these are people with rare insight or skills that are useful in certain circles that you seek access to. The third group are critics, people who can analyze situations and tell you where you went wrong or what you could do to remedy situations or circumstances. On rare occasions, you might find all these qualities in one person.
So, the question is: What would you like to change? Your health and fitness status? Your financial bearing and capability? Your lifestyle and living routine? Your spiritual prowess and worship function. Whatever it is you want to change, you can change it by association. Sometimes you might have to plot and scheme. Nothing illegal or degrading, mind you: Suppose you want access to a high up Chief Executive Officer of an organisation, you may have to think and plan about how best to access him. It may not always be a good idea to make a frontal approach to his office requesting an appointment. Many useful people surround themselves with gate keepers who will frustrate efforts of penetration if you try access through their office or homestead. But if you study them hard enough then you will know how and when to approach them. They might be members of a social club; they could be attending a major event in the public; perhaps they are making a presentation at an educational institution. The trick is use those moments of access to get appointments.
The answer to your elevation may not just be in linking up with someone for advice. You could draw up your preferences to solve the most nagging problems of upward movement.
The answer to your elevation may not just be in linking up with someone for advice. You could draw up your preferences to solve the most nagging problems of upward movement. Ask yourself key questions. It helps to write them down: What could I do? Write down solutions that come to mind. Write as many solutions as possible. List them in your journals. You need a journal to write your ideas, goals and challenges in. It will help your thinking process.
Why write it down? Well, it relieves you from having to carry it in your mind all the time. Make a list of options as long as possible. Another question you need to ask yourself is: What could I read? Reading or researching solutions to your challenge is a viable option. There are materials and resources in many books and articles. If you want to achieve advancement in any area of your life it helps to read about it and keep reading till you find something you believe you can work with. Not everything the author suggests will be viable, but there are bound to be ideas you can run with if you take your time to search. It is only after you have made your list of options, read and researched them that you should seek out help from people who have the information you need.
Your informed perspective will encourage them to help you. It’s much better to appear with some knowledge of the matter than to come up empty and totally ignorant about it. Remember, association counts for a strong influence on your desired future.
*Ogundadegbe is a renowned management consultant. He trains managers and executives in the arts of Customer Service, Human Resources Management and Management strategy ([email protected]).
