By BOSEDE OLUSOLA-OBASA
I got married at age 29 and had lived with my parents almost all my life prior to that, except for one month. Not even schooling made me live outside the home. My schooling, from my elementary classes to tertiary education, was from home. I have never stayed in a hostel or boarding facility.
But this piece isn’t about me, it’s about my dad’s noiseless influence on my life during those 29 years. Recall it was Father’s Day only two days ago, and I think every day should be Father’s Day. Haven’t you heard it said that Dad’s girls are super powerhouses. True, and you may be meeting one.
Mothers, please prep your children to honour their fathers, even when it doesn’t make sense to you. You would thereby be instilling in them the generational seed of honour. Please permit me to share a few stories with you about my 75-year-old Dad, Mr. Peter F. Olorunsheyi, from my reflections on his impact on my life. This is how I make sense of the Father’s Day. It all still makes plenty of sense, 50 years on. That’s why I agree with Dr. James Dobson’s submission that, “A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter for the rest of her life.”
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My Dad seldom caned me
For those resident years of my single life, I could almost count how many times my Dad ever beat me. He seldom did, but when he did, it was memorable! Hmm! God help you if your case failed resolution at my mum’s court and gets transferred to my Dad’s.
He never shouted
He rarely needed to shout to stress an instruction to his children. In fact, the same issues that my mum had to ‘yell’ about to get the children to attend to, didn’t require any such energy from my Dad. Although a ‘soldier man’ those earlier days, but he was very loving, caring, and firm!
I am still trying to understand why it seems some fathers can achieve certain parenting results easier than the mothers. There’s this aura about the ‘man presence’ and its effects on children’s compliance rate in the home.
I know there will be some exceptions to this rule, but who else is with me on this observation about fathers?
He’s a power dresser
My dad was my first ‘good looks’ role model, this is probably also true for my siblings. He never took me classes on looks; he simply exemplified it! I particularly love the way he wore his soldier beret (before he left the army), and his aso-oke fabric caps so much that I started wearing the latter as a teenager! I seemed to watch his dress sense to create my female version. Plus, I could almost desire a career in the Nigerian Army because of his smart, neat, responsible and dope looks in his uniforms. As Clarence B. Kelland noted, “My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”
Take your flowers, Dads. Cheers to nation building, intentional parenting and leadership.
And, his handwriting…
Apart from the looks, I also loved and still love his handwriting. In fact, I started patterning after this until I studied his signature to formulate mine. It’s amazing what enormous influence Dad’s have.
He’s multi-talented
I grew up with a default mentoring on hard work, excellent work, creative work, innovative work from both my Dad and Mum. See, I don’t know how to be lazy. I don’t know how to be ordinary, I don’t know how to be lost in the crowd! My Dad is the most multi-disciplined career person I ever have met. Soldier, engineer, fabricator, pastor, farmer, inventor, and so on. From him, I learnt to create whatever I needed if it’s not already created.
He’s a devout Christian
My Dad made up his mind for Jesus Christ in his 40s and has since remained a devout Christian. You can’t have a 10 minutes talk with my Dad without being evangelised. His passion constantly challenges me. Honestly, if I had the whole world as platform, it won’t be enough to tell the story of my father’s influence on my life.
Despite busy schedule, he complemented mum by being a present dad and husband. Most important of all, the big picture of this piece is that it is dedicated to celebrating all fathers, who seldom get celebrated enough. Take your flowers, Dads. Cheers to nation building, intentional parenting and leadership.
If you love what you read, please also write about your dad or share this to celebrate a dad. If you are a dad to be, make up your mind to be more for your children. Also, please reach out if you would love to book a corporate training session on best workplace attitudes, team optimisation, leadership sustainability, corporate culture creation, exceptional customer service, or personal character development coaching.
Enjoy the rest of your week!
