I was lucky to have been raised in two families that do not curse. My mother never cursed any of her children. She didn’t have time for that. Once she rubs her fingers at you (I don’t know if that thing has a word in English), you know that only my Dad can lift your punishment. It only happens when you are beyond reach. If you are within reach, Iya Abayo will hit you with anything within her reach when you break the rules – it goes from her hands to a laddle or a stick – anything that cannot break bones or leave a mark.
Mama Dipo (Mojisola Faith)’s curse were pretty funny – àbí orí ẹ dáa l’ọrùn ẹ ni – ‘is your head sitting straight on your neck’ is her harshest ‘curse’. So, you can imagine the shock and horror I feel, each time I stand beside someone that curses.
On this street and in the larger Nigerian space, people curse their imagined, known and perceived enemies. They do not stay at cursing those who offend them, they go several inches further. They curse them, their children and their generations. This in a very small world, where you never know where your own children or grandchildren are likely to find a life partner, sometimes when you are six feet under or have been cremated with your ashes scattered.
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I am always irked that people go this way. I have learnt to keep my mouth sealed when somebody’s action or inaction hurts me beyond words. I don’t want to curse them. I always remind myself that I am someone’s enemy too. I mean, if curses work, then how will I succeed in life?
I always rebuke those I know, but be like Ìya Àbàyọ and Màmá Dipọ̀ , bless and don’t curse. And if you cannot bless, don’t curse. And if you must curse, curse the one who offended you, not their generation.
When I was younger, I would return or send swearwords in a fit of rage but cursing people is NOT my style. So, I don’t know why you adults do it. It is shameful and you should stop it on this street. It diminishes the image of you I have as a responsible, urbane human being. Please restrain your tongue when you are angry. Don’t curse anyone, and certainly don’t extend curses to generations of people that you do not know and who did not offend you. If you must curse someone, curse the one who offended you, don’t wish evil on their children or their grandchildren.
I always remember a sermon by Rev. George Adegboye back then in RHEMA Ilorin in the eighties. Proverbs 26:2 – As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come. The Living Bible translation it says – An undeserved curse has no effect. Its intended victim will be no more harmed by it than by a sparrow or swallow flitting through the sky.
How could you be a believer and harbour ill against a fellow human created in the image of God and yet lift up your eyes, your voice and your life to the same God by whose grace you are alive, to ask for blessing.
I always rebuke those I know, but be like Ìya Àbàyọ and Màmá Dipọ̀ , bless and don’t curse. And if you cannot bless, don’t curse. And if you must curse, curse the one who offended you, not their generation.
Vous m’entende? Bless you – not in the voice of religious zealots who bless you first even when they know they are about to scam you.
