By ADESOLA AYO-ADERELE
The person who was to help me home from the train station wasn’t available, so I became worried as the prospect of spending N8K on a 10-minute drive from the train station to my office stared me in the face.
Mercifully, as we were boarding at the take-off point, I sighted an elderly senior colleague and quickly introduced myself to him. He agreed to take me to the campus where my car was.
At the final destination when we got to the car park, after we had put our stuff in the trunk, I made to sit in the passenger seat in the front since there were just the two of us, and then the drama began.
Pa, who should be in his late 60s, was frantically shoving things on the seat and, in the same breath, gently directed me to sit at the back.
He was meeting me for the first time, but in the course of office discussions, his name had been mentioned on a positive note, during which I also learned that he attends the same church as I do. Knowing the old-timers in my church, I was only amused. Sorry if you don’t know my church affiliation 😒
A few minutes into the ride, my husband called to know if I had arrived at my station safely, and that piqued the old man’s interest. You see, my Android phone ringtone is based on Genesis 15:5, which our mutual pastor had referenced in one of his countless sermons and which I use as my ringtone because of its vast promises that are applicable to one’s children.
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Immediately Pa heard the voice, he asked if I also attended the church, to which I said yes. That sobered him up, and he went on to explain why I couldn’t sit in the passenger seat beside him: the seat is an exclusive preserve of ‘Mama’ (his wife), and she has forbidden him from ever allowing anyone (that would be a woman, I think) from occupying it.
Inasmuch as we both know that godly fidelity is a non-negotiable requirement for staying together, I won’t have my back against the wall just to boost anyone’s sense of insecurity.
He informed me further that immediately I asked him for a ride, he had to send an urgent WhatsApp message (read, permission) to Mama, and that she said it was okay (hence the confidence he had to give me the 10-minute ride). I expressed my gratitude, but it sent me thinking.
There are things I’ll never agree to do in this one marriage that I am in. Inasmuch as we both know that godly fidelity is a non-negotiable requirement for staying together, I won’t have my back against the wall just to boost anyone’s sense of insecurity.
So, if Mama had asked him to not help a woman she doesn’t know, what would he have told me?
If there were four of us ladies going to the same place as him, would he have shoved all four of us in the back seat that is meant for three, or would he have declined to help one person in order to not annoy Mama?
Life can be easier, especially married life, biko.
